We need to move

A Poem from The Dementia Diaries

She is forgetting
Says the neighbor 
At first gently 
And then using stronger language
Of love
Of concern.
Bills are unopened. 
She is confused.
She should not drive.

She is not safe
Says the neighbor
At first gently and then with panic.
She left the burner on.
She will trip and fall.
She cannot tell time.
She cannot remember.

I am fine
She says.
This is my home.
I do not want to move.
At first gently and then using stronger language
Of denial 
Of resistance.

I am fine
She says.
The neighbor is helping me.
This is my home.
I do not want to move.
At first gently and then with panic.
Don’t take me away.

The dear friends said at first
She is just a little forgetful.
We will take care of her.
We’ll get her groceries, bring her meals.
At first gently and then using stronger language.
But the friends cannot pay the bills
Or sort through insurance
Even the dearest friends could not have
Managed the strokes that came
The psychosis
The terror.
They could not have navigated the paperwork 
for a specialized memory care unit. 
She is not so bad, they said.
They did not see her naked
And howling. 

We will do what is best for you.
We say
At first gently
And then with stronger language.
We will do what’s best for you
As if we know what that is.
Is being safe 
The best for you
Or is it a prison
What would I want 
I ask myself
At first gently and then with despair.
What would I want? 
There are no good answers.
Only trying. 
Trying and tears.
Only love. 
Love and grief.

I’m honored to be a member of the Iowa Writers Collaborative. Please consider supporting our members.

Beth Hoffman: In the Dirt, Lovilla

Dana James: New Black Iowa, Des Moines

Fern Kupfer and Joe Geha: Fern and Joe, Ames

Robert Leonard: Deep Midwest: Politics and Culture, Bussey

Kyle Munson: Kyle’s Main Street, Iowa

Chuck Offenburger: Iowa Boy Chuck Offenburger, Jefferson and Des Moines

Barry Piatt: Barry Piatt on Politics-Behind the Curtain, Washington, D.C.

Mary Swander: Mary Swander’s Buggy Land, Kalona

Mary Swander: Mary Swander’s Emerging Voices

Cheryl Tevis: Unfinished Business, Boone County

Ed Tibbetts: Along the Mississippi, Davenport

Laura Belin: Iowa Politics with Laura Belin, Windsor Heights

Doug Burns: The Iowa Mercury, Carroll

Dave Busiek: Dave Busiek on Media, Des Moines

Art Cullen: Art Cullen’s Notebook, Storm Lake

Suzanna de Baca: Dispatches from the Heartland, Huxley

Debra Engle: A Whole New World, Madison County

Julie Gammack: Julie Gammack’s Iowa Potluck, Des Moines and Okoboji

Also, please subscribe to our alliance partner, Iowa Capital Dispatch. They provide hard-hitting news along with selected commentary by IWC members. Also, please subscribe to our alliance partner, Iowa Capital Dispatch. They provide hard-hitting news along with selected commentary by IWC members. IOWA CAPITAL DISPATCH

---