It started with words

From the Dementia Diaries

---

It started with words.
Losing words and names.
A slight fog.
A small stroke.
Turned around. 
Time left the clock unintelligible 
Numbers indistinguishable 
Now just marks
Meaning nothing.
It was not right.

It started with words. 
Ironic since you loved words.
Losing words and names.
A minor car accident 
Unopened envelopes 
And dirt accumulating on the cabinets.
Boxes bills and clothes 
Stacked high, said the neighbor.
A feeling of being off.
You were so far away.
How could we know?
Really know?
You sounded as chipper as always on the phone. 
And sent cards 
Signed Love, Lois.

But the letters,
Look, I said. 
Her signature has shrunk
The letters are too small
And go uphill
It’s not right.

And the words went.
More words and names and numbers.
Time totally gone.
Directions disintegrated.
Peripheral vision disappeared.
You acted erratically 
Giving money away
And were quick to anger.
How could you not?
You were living behind a curtain. 
How terrifying 
To not know what is happening to your mind.
To not know where you are.
In the end, to have only sounds 
and not enough words to say
Help me, help me please,
It is not right.

It started with words.
And ended with a howl.
While we looked on helplessly
Unable to comfort you,
Holding your beautiful, weathered hand 
The only act of love 
Still left.

---

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