Everyday gifts
From The Dementia Diaries
Today I went to see you in the memory care unit Was that a small flicker of recognition Or did you respond to the touch of my hand? Where are you, I wonder, What are you thinking? You are there but silent Trapped in the space of a locked wing Called Julia’s place. Your humble house now gone Your home now half a room. Where am I you ask me over and over again. You are here, you are safe. I say the same words Over and over. The name of this town Means nothing. But where am I where am I you repeat. Later, I go to the grocery store. I turn into the parking lot Automatically Find an empty spot Root my bags from the back seat Push the cart Navigating bumps and jostling The sticking wheel. I mindlessly grab and toss Grab and toss Checking off the list, Milk fruit eggs. Milk fruit eggs. Suddenly, standing in front of the chocolate I am overcome with sadness. I hold the cart handle to steady myself While my heart heaves. The salty tears Roll down my face. I use my sleeve to dry them off Wiping my cheek with the back of my hand Like a child. You used to drive to the grocery store The Post Office Run mindless errands I can now see These mundane activities are luxuries. I am struck by the beauty Of the dull routine. Get milk fruit eggs Milk fruit eggs Pay with a credit card and drive off. Drop off the package. Hold a glass or a spoon. Open a door. Walk alone. Stop at the red light Slow at the yellow Go at the green. These moments are gifts. Hidden treasures. The privileges Of everyday life.
I am honored to be a member of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative. Please check out and support our members.
1. Laura Belin: Iowa Politics with Laura Belin, Windsor Heights
2. Doug Burns: The Iowa Mercury, Carroll
3. Dave Busiek: Dave Busiek on Media, Des Moines
4. Art Cullen: Art Cullen’s Notebook, Storm Lake
5. Suzanna de Baca: Dispatches from the Heartland, Huxley
6. Debra Engle: A Whole New World, Madison County
7. Julie Gammack: Julie Gammack’s Iowa Potluck, Des Moines and Okoboji
8. Joe Geha: Fern and Joe, Ames
9. Jody Gifford: Benign Inspiration, West Des Moines
10. Beth Hoffman: In the Dirt, Lovilla
11. Dana James: New Black Iowa, Des Moines
12. Tar Macias: Hola Iowa, Iowa
13. Pat Kinney: View from Cedar Valley, Waterloo
14. Fern Kupfer: Fern and Joe, Ames
15. Robert Leonard: Deep Midwest: Politics and Culture, Bussey
16. Kyle Munson, Kyle Munson’s Main Street, Des Moines
17. John Naughton: My Life, in Color, Des Moines
18. Chuck Offenburger: Iowa Boy Chuck Offenburger, Jefferson and Des Moines
19. Barry Piatt: Behind the Curtain, Washington, D.C.
20. Mary Swander: Mary Swander’s Buggy Land, Kalona
21. Mary Swander: Mary Swander’s Emerging Voices, Kalona
22. Cheryl Tevis: Unfinished Business, Boone County
23. Ed Tibbetts: Along the Mississippi, Davenport
24. Teresa Zilk: Talking Good, Des Moines
We’re also proud to have an alliance with Iowa Capital Dispatch.
Paid subscribers have access to a monthly Zoom call with a rotating lineup of our writers. The next hour-long “Office Lounge” is at noon Friday, Dec. 30, 2022.
This powerful poem strikes me as one of the best descriptions of dementia I've ever read -- in prose or verse. Thank you. And keep the poems coming!
Suzanna, what I like about your poetry is that is as much or more a reflection inward than outward. Like a good poet, you use the outward to discuss the inward, and remind of us what we have and what we have to look forward to. Thank you for writing such beautiful words.